The Mayan Calendar predicted....

.... Today would be the end of the world. My Custard Cream Calendar says otherwise!

Missed it by 1 second....

.... Now I've got to wait a little under 100 years to get the picture right.

This years local pantomime....

.... Mother Goose. First performed at the Drury Lane Theatre London in 1902.

Haven't been in this pub...

.... For over a year. Carling at £1.50 a pint, and free wifi. Fantastic.

In recognition of....

.... No accidents, incidents or complaints while at the 2012 Olympics.

Not from savings....

.... 0.5% interest rates!! It'll be sub zero interest rates next. We'll pay the banks to save.